I don't have much to say.
:|
I have been offered a spot in some honor roll thing for people in 2 year colleges. Hmm.
Sometimes I wish I had just gone to a 4 years college and majored in writing and media.
I'm all over the place. I know what I want, I just don't know how to get there... I am so scared of ending up as mediocrity in this life. And that seems to be where I'm heading.
If I keep walking the line I currently strut, I'll be working in video games. Not bad really. But... to say it's my passion, well.... that stretches things a bit. Idk idk idk idk.... I just want to be successful now! But I lack the self discipline to do so! Sometimes I think I just need to go crazy for a year and then sit my butt down and get to work.
I am sloth personified.
There is no rule book or instruction manual for being the next big storyteller. I need some of that ol Disney luck to seep in now. *look at me, I'm 19 and freaking out so much. I just feel time passing with me doing nothing!*
I know what you mean. Life and time can get away from you if you let it. This summer was a bit like that for me towards the end. It's so easy not to go after life with a passion. For me, it's a fear of failure, or perhaps success, not just laziness that causes the cycle of mediocrity. The most important thing I think that keeps shaking me out of boredom is failure, or making mistakes. I learn so much more about myself and where I want to go by doing things outside my comfort zone, knowing I will make mistakes.
ReplyDeleteWhat is one thing you are afraid of? My advice would be to go out and do that, without thinking too much about it. Even if you just keep doing that, you will never be mediocre.
Hope you're doing okay!
Hey it's good to hear from you! Yeah the fear of failure is a big one, but I think I also have a fear of being scared. If that makes sense, the fear that once I'm doing what I should be doing, I'll get depressed or something. I have been thinking about getting a summer job and then not going to school the following semester so I can save up money and really really work.
ReplyDeleteI just need to get out of the house lol