Asexuality and other stuff

I worry that one day, when I have entered into a serious relationship, I will make the other person feel...unimportant.  I have come to terms this summer on a lot of things, mostly the whole asexuality thing.  I was before but I guess I have just become more affirmed some how.  I get kinda tired of people telling me it's a phase, but it's just how i have felt my whole life. I also get a little annoyed when guys think to make it their goal to be the one to "turn" me.  Like "Wow okay so you're giving me the heads up that we WILL be having sex?  Okay...."
I just worry that I'll make someone feel undesirable and they will cheat, break up, or feel bad about themselves. I feel bad about it, but at the same time I can't feel bad for who I am.  What ever, I just won't stress.  Besides, I've been thinking, I wonder if I'll be in that percentage of people who never marry.  Not exactly what I want but if thats what fate has in store then I guess it's good I have this social awkwardness otherwise if I was outgoing being alone my whole life would really bug me. Though to be honest I think being alone my whole life would still bug me.  Well this is a depressing post...
I tend to not like single girl rants, I think they are immature and stupid, but it's a little different for me I guess.  I really don't mind being single right now.  I have school and I most likely wouldn't be able to spend time with someone, however, I guess it's natural to feel the want to be needed, you know?  Gah I'm just blabbing.
I realized yesterday that I have never said I love you to someone who wasn't a family member.  Not even a friend (outside of texts and emails).  It seems like a really...significant, fragile, and vulnerable word.  And we all know how I am no good with showing vulnerability.  I find the phrase hard to even type/write.

School starts tomorrow.  Excited to see my old pals.  Not liking the prospect of homework. *sigh*

My influence map

click to see it bigger.  It's cool, yea?

Art: Desert Royale

THIS TOOK 3 DAYS OKAY.

FOREVER.

Original characters.  He is a “prince” of sorts that denied his name.  She was his former servent/body guard of sorts until he let her go so she could live her life.  When he denied his name his father attempted to have him killed, and they almost did till she saved him.  Basically thats just 1/8th of the story.  it takes place years later when they are looking for the last oasis.  They life in a large desert kingdom.  They are like partners of sorts with, of course, slight romantic tension. hohohoho

I don’t have names for them yet

And this started as a video game idea...but Idk anymore, but yeah I could keep it that way. So we shall see.

Art: Sophia and Gabriel.

THIS WAS ONE DAMN LABOR OF LOVE.

12 hours. X___X  Which doesn't count the drawing time on paper (like 45-60 mins)

My hands hurt a lot.  A LOT.

It's 5:05am.... -__-

This is Sophia and Gabriel.  They are obviously a couple.  They are original characters for a story. Yes.

Oh and btw, this was my first couple picture. Ever.

Art: Modern day Link

Yes Link from the Legend of Zelda.  This took like 4 hours not including actually sketch on paper time.

I am actually really proud of this. :)

Art: what a release

I think I have been so creatively blocked for like 6 months it has been very frustrating.

Not so long ago I came upon a tutorial for the male body, the female body, and the face.  It, I think, dramatically changed how I drew things and frankly thank god for it.

I have been on a huge art binge lately.  It feels so good to put the pencil on the paper and just go.
The thing I struggle with as an artist is my left and right brain.  I think with both.  It's difficult for me to remember that there are no limits in art, no rules.  I watched recently "Spirited Away" and I always forget what a masterpiece it is.  So beautiful and limitless.  It inspires the hell out of me.

I am actually kinda proud of my sketch book for the first time in my life.  Like someone could look through it and see my progression and I would be just fine.

I have been watching A LOT more anime recently.  With this surge of anime I have been able to pay attention to the styles and the little details which I have incorporated into my drawings. I see things now I totally glazed over before.  The most important being is, each character is unique and has a signature.  Fans can always identify this character from this signature.  Whether it's Goku's hair, Naruto's facial marks, Edward Elrics red coat/automail, to Hei's soulless eye's.  Everyone has something.

All I can say is: Art is like food, it fills my body with nutrients and life.

(Afterthought: I have also been writing a lot.  Makes me realize I have such a limited vocabulary.  And my grammar is atrocious! But to toot my own horn, I am pretty damn good at dialogue and story. But the mechanical details always screw me over.)

A preview

Here is a preview of what I have been working on in Photoshop for like 4 hours X___X

The skin.  HAIR WHY ARE YOU SO HARD?

By the way I have been using my tablet for all the art you have seen from the last few posts.

It's Jonathon

A drawing I did last night

The photo is a bit blurry.  But anyway.

The one on the left is my friend in Texas Jonathon.  I wrote him into a story I am working on so this would be the drawn out character.

The right was me attempting to do a profile of Jonathon but it changed into something completely different and I am going to consider it a different piece of work all together.

OFF TO COLOR!

Just some art

This guy is from a story Idea I am working on.  He looks too much like the father from twilight. T___T

This is the main character for a previous story idea I had

These are some of the main characters from my current story 

And she...well idk.  She looks like a mash of Winry and Riza from Fullmetal Alchemist.